很安静的下午，在洗手间和客厅之间走动时我脑子里塞着各种情节。如果是这样如果我有陪说话的accomodate我的人我能开心多久，也许我自己的无赖很快就自动平复然后我和那个人说你该干嘛干嘛去吧。是的，这一刻很难过，但我已经很久很久没有巨大的喜悦和悲伤了。生活逐渐的变成日子。Kevin说Jenny说Andrew说的12345我都不置可否的认同。谢谢这些好朋友-Jenny说，人年龄越大越难信仰爱情。我补充下半句，越老越仰赖友谊。因为你我之间的施与和获取都不带目的。太多爱情急于得到它的功利，无法被证明，于是也就得不到成立。

用一篇文字告诫人生，貌似对我是屡试屡败的经验。热爱安妮宝贝笔下淡淡的闻不出味道的爱情观，却在自己的生活里搞得乱七八糟。我反省，于是我开始有两个问题。为爱爱，还是为生活而爱。如果你具备成为我愿景的一切元素，是不是我就要爱你。如果其实没有那么伤心，是爱的不够还是失去了爱的能力？你是对的。如果要我承诺对你的感情，我也会哑口无言。

除了芝加哥半年都在下雪这点不好外（所以很影响生活的形态），我的生活还是不错的。Kevin说在外面漂有得有失要我不要和自己较劲。学会倾听和安抚自己的心是我这两年来最大的成长。

It's a bow to the book I am reading now, The Post-Birthday World.

Nina... dropped off just now
Vince... huh?
Nina...i said i just dropped offline
Vince... Oh
Vince... Shoot
Vince... I totally forgot about my meeting
Nina... meeting now?
Vince... Yeah
Vince... It was suppose to be at 230
Vince... -300
Nina... wow
Vince... Yeah
Vince... I completely forgot
Nina... r u there?
Vince... yeah
Nina... i just said goodbye to my boyfriend
Vince... WHA?
Vince... why?
Nina... we had a long conversation
Nina... clarified everything
Vince... Huh?
Nina... ya
Vince... what did you clarify?
Nina... a lot of things
Vince... Did you say goodbye to him
Vince... or did you guys break up
Nina... break up?
Nina... i think so
Vince... lol how do you think so
Vince... either you did
Vince... or you didnt
Nina... did
Vince... What was the main reason?
Nina... he said he doesn't feel i'm the one of his life
Vince... ouch
Vince... do you think he's the "one"?
Nina... i don't think so now
Nina... if he doesn't think so, why would i
Nina... we are a mismatch
Vince... Hmmm
Vince... Well then that's a good reason
Vince... I don't like wasting time with someone if I don't think we're a match
Nina... it's a pity
Nina... but i'm old enough to admit life is not perfect as we plan
Vince... wow
Vince... so morbid
Vince... and you're not old at all
Vince... especially in the head
Nina... see, my innocent age has passed:)
Nina... it's memorial!
Nina... i mean, i'm old ENOUGH
Nina... not OLD
Vince... my innocent age passed a long time ago
Nina... interestingly, i don't really feel sad
Vince... so long ago
Nina... the last couple of months have smoothed my pain
Vincen... i didn't even know if it even existed
Nina... thank goodness, time is a cure
Vince... Well he isn't actually here
Vince... and you don't see him that much
Vince... so it's not like he's a constant reminder
Vince... So when did you guys break up?
Nina... a couple of mins ago
Nina... talking to fion now, ttyl
Vince... Online?
Vince... booo
Vince... come back
Vincent... ahha
Nina... yes
Nina... r u there?
Vince... hi
Vince... what's up?
Vince... I thought you were talking to Fion
Nina... oh she's sitting next to me, we talked for a while
Vincen... what did she say?
Nina... we gonna go and celebrate it tontie
Vince... CELEBRATE?
Vince... celebrate your freedom?
Nina... just kidding
Nina... she wants to give me company so it won't be too difficult when i'm alone by myself
Vince... awww
Nina... she's so nice:)
Vince... what a good friend
Nina... yes^^
Nina... but it's ok
Nina... u know what, i used to be ... have to have good things happened in my life to offset the bad feels from bad happening
Vince... ooor
Vince... you can just not feel bad things
Nina... i used to .. be .. perhaps still am .. a person cannot face life directly
Nina... so when i look back, i found all my relationships ened up with something else happened :) either another person, or things like career, u know
Vince... All my relationships ended because I didn't thnk we were meant for each other
Nina... u could call me a little girl, in that regard
Nina... meant for each other, what a word!
Vince... lol
Vince... you are a little gilr
Vince... i never see you as older than me
Nina... how can u tell she is meant for u
Nina.. lol, i'm older than u on a lot of aspects:)
Vince... ahaha i doub it
Vince... other than being born in a different year
Nina... but as what i told u in the morning, we are all complicated
Nina... aaaa anyway, no point arguing on this
Nina... answer my question ya
Vince... I'm a pretty simple person
Vince... basically
Nina... simple and direct i see
Vince... you look at each other's outlook
Vince... goals
Vince... desires
Vince... expectations
Vince... what kind of future you want
Vince... what kind of future you expect
Vince... ideals
Vince... lots of factors
Nina... that's about values in common rite?
Vince... values plays a part
Nina... what else
Vince... how you work as a couple
Nina... it takes some time to know about a person:)
Vince... I suppose
Vince... Not if you are very attentive
Nina... hmmmm, i agree
Nina... U MIND IF I TYPE IN UPCASE?
Vince... why?
Nina... DON'T WANT TO SWTICH BACK AND FORTH
Nina... COZ I'M WORKING ON A SHEET CAPITALS ARE USED
Vince... fine
Vince... you'll just look like you're really upset
Vince... haha
Nina... HAHA, UPCASE LETTERS LOOK UPSET?
Nina... LOOK SO UP, I THINK
Vince... lol a little bit
Nina... okok i switch back
Vince... lol you don't have to
Nina... my professor told me never to use upcase in formal writing, just stupid to overwhelm people
Vince... ahahah
Vince... it's true
Vince... seems too exaggerated
Vince... I use caps to make a huge point
Vince... with one word
Vince... emphasis on one word
Nina... like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Vince... naw
Vince... like
Vince... That is DISGUSTING
Nina... hey did u see the batman?
Nina... i guess so
Vince... yeah
Vince... ahah
Vince... why?
Nina... i need to see it, before it's dropped
Vince... did you see the first one?
Nina... no
Vince... It's really good
Nina... okie
Vince... I have it on BluRay
Nina... oh...
Vince... Do you want to see Batman: Dark Knight first?
Nina... it is what i'm going to see
Nina... and it is what i talked abt...
Vince... Or do you want to see Batman: Beins
Vince... begins
Nina... i think the dark knight should be better
Vince... it is better
Vince... but the first one is a good movie too
Vince... some of my friends like begins better
Nina... isn't there a song called "rose in my heart" or something? from the movie?
Vince... Rose in My Heart?
Vince... Uhhh the first one or the second?
Vince... actually nm
Vince... i wouldnt know either wya
Nina... i would find this song and send the link to u
Nina... in another day
Vince... Do you like JJ Lin?
Nina... who
Nina... oh a singer rite
Nina... he's ok
Vince... the signer
Vince... from singapore
Nina... he's kind of ugly
Nina... i don't like his nose
Nina... he needs a surgery on his nose
Vince... poor guy
Vince... it's not about looks
Vince... but some of his songs are pretty boring
Vince... but he has a good voice
Nina... he's not talented as jay chou u know
Vince... he needs jay chou to write for him
Nina... i usually cannot appreciate guys' voice that much as girls'
Vince... I appreciate girl voices much more
Nina... i really really really like female singers with good clear voice, not much background music
Nina... i agree
Vince... yeah same with me
Nina... u know Poe?
Nina... she's so good, so so good
Vince... haha
Vince... poe?
Nina... and i used to like Frente and Jem a lot
Nina... u should go and search her songs
Nina... or Wiki her
Nina... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe_%28singer%29

Dear little girl， I like the way you are and will always treat you with respect. What you need is the realisation that (the chance of ) being hurt is just part of life, the same as experience love, hunger, etc. U cant escape that in the end. never, not by running away. If you realise that and accept that you will experience that pain is sometimes there, you can start living without fear, open up and not hinding anymore. Life will open for you.

安妮宝贝

在路途上想起爱情来。觉得最好的爱情是两个人彼此做个伴。

　　不要束缚，不要缠绕，不要占有，不要渴望从对方的身上挖掘到意义，那是洽谈室要落空的东西。而应该是，我们两个人，并排站在一起，看看这个落寞的人间。

　　有两个独立的房间，各自在房间里工作。

　　一起找小餐馆吃晚饭。

　　散步的时候能够有很多话说。

　　拥抱在一起的时候觉得安全。

　　不干涉对方的任何自由。哪怕他还在和旧日女友联络。

　　不对彼此表白。表白是变相的索取。

　　很平淡。很熟悉。好像他的气味就是你自己身上的气味。

　　不管在何时何地，都要留给彼此距离。

　　随时可以离开。

　　想安静的时候，即使他在身边，也像是自己一个人。

　　有一致的生活品味。包括衣服，唱片，香水，食物等等。

　　不太会想起对方，但累的时候，知道他就是家。

　 我们很容易碰到的，都是自私或者愚蠢的人。他们爱别人，只是为了证明别人能够爱自己。或者抓在手里不肯放，直到手里的东西死去。

    成熟的感情都需要付出时间去等待它的果实。但是我们一直欠缺耐心。有谁会用10年的时间去等一个远行的人。有谁会在10年的远行之后，依然想回头找到那个人。有些爱情因为太急于要得到它的功利，无法被证明，于是也就得不到成立。

　　我们的爱情，之所以寂寞，只是因为找不到对手。